I have noticed we have some funny people here and I wondered if we could start a thread of synth jokes. Jokes that only synth heads would get.
I can start: I've been using the pwm and boy are my vcos tired.
Not the best one but u get the idea.

I like the dog of Yannis, designer of Dreadbox synths:
A small scruffy terrier, called Curtis
Yes, he probably can sound harsh and whiney

an LFO walks into a bar, and says "I want a beer! I kind of want a beer. I don't want a beer. I want a beer!"

I was thrilled when I got 12c off my prologue.

They didn't tell me they'd take it off the E key tho

3 Ds, 2Gs and a B walk into an open barre

oops guitar joke... sorry :(

3 Ds, 2Gs and a B walk into an open barre

oops guitar joke... sorry :(

"I'm done buying any more synths"

"Using integrated circuits is totally fine - just be discrete about it on synth fora!" - The coalition of synth designer therapists

There is only one sort of band joke that matters, the Lightbulb joke. Here's one stolen from this place:

How many keyboard players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Ten.

One to screw in the lightbulb and nine to fight off all the guitar players who want to stand directly under the lightbulb.

variation on a theme --

What's the definition of a gentleman?
Someone that knows how to play the Theremin, but doesn't.

"EDM is the official way to describe any dance music made with electronic synthesizers since its inception."

Top ten all time classic EDM chart: Voted for by readers of EDM Monthly.

1. Donna Summer - I Feel Love
2. Kraftwerk - Numbers
3. New Order - Blue Monday
4. Arthur Baker - Planet Rock
5. Marshall Jefferson - House Music Anthem
6. Rhythim Is Rhythim - Strings Of Life
7. Mr. Fingers - Can You Feel It
8. A Guy Called Gerald - Voodoo Ray
9. Orbital - Chime
10. David Guetta - Titanium

"My latest synth is the best one ever, the last one was lacking in many ways."

Synthesiser walks into a bar and asks the bar tender, does anyone know how to detune my oscillators than what...?

Bar tender replies, no we only serve soft synths here...

Two oscillators, one detune, filthy...

Some of us actually make music that other people want to hear. (joke #1 )

Consequent joke #2 : You need a singer for that.

Consequent joke #3 : How many singers does it take to change a light-bulb? Only one - they just hold it perfectly still and the entire world revolves around them.

Consequent joke #4 : How do you discipline a singer? Firehose.

What did the hardware synth say to the soft synth? You know they have a little blue dongle for that. Just made that one up.

So we finish a set, and are headed to the back breakroom and someone comes up and asks our base player "Hey buddy, how late does the band play?"
"Oh, about a half a beat behind the drummer."

Roses are red
S1000s are sub $100
When the backlights gone
Satan

"The drum machine doesn't hit on your girlfriend"

We can't pay you, but it will be great exposure

doing music "production" is just like being a composer/musician who can play a musical instrument.

VCO says to the DCO
“You’re so skinny and I’m so fat. It’s just not fair. What’s your secret?”
“Well it takes a lot of digital self control”

I think there was a synth jokes thread years ago... I might even remember some of them. Things like:

What do you get when you drop a modular synth down a mine shaft? A flat miner.
What do you get when you drop a modular synth on an Air Force base? A flat major.
C, Eb and G walked into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "We don't serve minors here."

I found some I came up with in 2009 on another forum too:

One waveform to another: "He's such a square..."

Did you hear about the filter that fell in love? Something resonated in him.

How do synthesizers mail letters? In envelopes.

When a synthesist gets engaged, do they give their fiancee a ring modulator?

Ok, came up with a new one, about a recently released synth:

Red Riding Hood says to her Grandmother, what fat sawtooths you have!

What's the difference between a singer and a keyboard player?
Almost a semitone.


I actually once had this with a singer. I pitched the take up a whole note, and she went "Hey, that's much better!"
Needless to say i didn't ask her back.

"Why do you need all those keyboards? Can't you just use the big one?"

I've had that said to me in the past, go with desktop keyless synths and rack modules and nothing gets said lol.

Yeah, the guitarist says: "Why do you need such a big keyboard? It is getting in the way of my full stack and 3 guitars!!!"

Piano player teaches the bass player a new song. The Bass player says to the piano player: "You are walking on my parts!!" The keyboard player responds: "I was here first."

Keyboard player says to the singer: "What key do you sing the song?" The singer says: "right here, LA, LA, LA."

The keyboard player plays an intricate string intro. The drummer asks: "How long is that going to be?" The keyboard player responds: "8 bars." The drummer looking annoyed then says: "That is a long time to hold down one note!" Then the singer says: "But I like sound effects." The bass player and guitar player simply yawn. A typical band rehearsal for me.

"I think that synth X will be all I need for at least <insert arbitrary time period>."

What's the definition of a minor second? Two Mini Moogs playing in unison.