Interesting topic. Posting at this point more to follow than to have a great deal to contribute.
1) MIDI
I've gone in the other direction. Setting up separate 'ghost tracks' for kick and snare then having to remember to move them when I moved my real kick and snare got old fast. I much prefer setting up a s/c compressor (and, increasingly, TrackSpacer) because I can set and forget.
Re: double 'spikes' - since I started using clipping I've found that I can chop off anything extra I want downstream and stop compression and other threshold-dependent stuff further down the chain being triggered.
2) Envelope
My DAW's stock single band compressor (Steinberg) has a separate Hold and Release so I can sort of shape the ducking, but this is one of the reasons I got ShaperBox and I will be testing with this hopefully next few weeks.
3 & 5) Frequency dependent / multiband
Definitely an area I want to explore more. In my projects certain sounds (high stringy pads and leads so far) really don't take to even very delicate full frequency ducking for snare and other mid/high percussion, so I have set these aside to handle together on a test day. Will give TrackSpacer / Shaperbox / multiband compressor(s) a shoot-out.
6) Group ducking
For things like bass I did initially have each sound slaved to the sub via its own s/c and crossover point set in TrackSpacer, but the extra effort made them sound more distinct/separate. If you want a definite 'call/response' feel to a group of sounds, then this might be what you want, but usually I want a collection of sounds that are hitting the same frequencies to feel like they are all one very tweakable instrument, so treating them as a group saves time and sort of helps to glue them together in the way that a shared verb does. I also tend to leave TrackSpacer full range here for the same reason.
I set up pre-fader Send to a Bus with no output: one for every different thing that triggers ducking, then use Sends from those Buses to trigger the s/c. I then have all of these Buses in a folder, which I can then mute. My personal preference for ducking most of the time is that I want to notice when it's NOT on (rather than obvious envelope-shaping), so this allows me to check that I'm not overdoing it across the whole mix with one click.
I've not tried (4) but I really think I should