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Help Vampires
Old 14th May 2006
Lives for gear
Kestral's Avatar
🎧 15 years
Help Vampires

Here's the definition:

- Does he ask the same, tired questions others ask (at a rate of once or more per minute)?
- Does he clearly lack the ability or inclination to ask the almighty Google?
- Does he refuse to take the time to ask coherent, specific questions?
- Does he think helping him must be the high point of your day?
- Is he obviously just waiting for some poor, well-intentioned person to do all his thinking for him?
- Can you tell he really isn't interested in having his question answered, so much as getting someone else to do his work?

Are there any here? You bet your sweet rear end. Let's see if we can clean it up.

Next n00b that asks how to get a Neve 1073/Urei 1176/LA2A/U47/Distressor sound for (insert some ridiculously low dollar amount) should be lynched.
Old 14th May 2006
Lives for gear
norman_nomad's Avatar
5 Reviews written
🎧 15 years
Holy crap, this was funny. heh

This pretty much drives it home:

"... these vampires suck the very life and energy out of people. By nature they feed on generous individuals who tend towards helping others, and leave their victims exhausted, bitter and dispirited."

I like this quote:

" 'You're a Help Vampire.' Call a spade a spade, and a Help Vampire a Help Vampire. Tell the vamp you'll be glad to have him as a member of your community if he reforms his vampy ways. And inform him what vampy ways you're talking about (this page is a good way to do that). "
Old 14th May 2006
Gear Addict
Tantrum The Cat's Avatar
🎧 15 years
Excellent article. Reminds me of some of the customers I had to deal with when I sold DAWs for a living: total refusal to read manuals, ask answerable questions, or retain information.
Old 14th May 2006
Gear Guru
henryrobinett's Avatar
🎧 15 years
Man. That hurts my feelings . . .
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