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Use the studio as your gun
Old 11th May 2006
  #1
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
Use the studio as your gun

I just heard a very terrible story, a friend of some friends of mine (much younger) recently fell desperately in love with the wrong girl, he had been in love with her for a long time. He had probably, on some level, soon realised his love was not answered, he didn't have the courage to face this reality by expressing his love for her while sober, which resulted in the fact that he always talked about her with his friends when he was high on alcohol. Recently he found out that this girl had started a relationship with another guy. He drank himself drunk on a party with my friends, then he e-mailed the girl that night and told her that he was glad for her sake about meeting this guy. In the morning he shot himself in the head, which has really been a very big trauma for my friends! So why do I share this story with you? I do it because if there is someone of all you almost 18 000 members here at Gearslutz going through the same thing right now, don't do the same decision, use your studio or your music as your gun.

When you get that desperately in love with someone and it's not answered you need to realise one thing, at that point you are dealing with the devil and that's really dangerous. It's a huge contrast and a very difficult thing to face, but without the knowledge you might pretty easily under the "right" circumstances become really confused, take the gun and shoot yourself and that's exactly what the devil tries to do. It's not the worst scenario, there are cases when the devil succeeds in taking the girl's life and her boyfriend's life as well...! But it's all just so extremely evil... There are other similar and related cases as well. I recently heard about a married couple where the woman had been having an affair with another man. She got pregnant and to remove the traces they would make an abortion in her apartment. That ended badly, the woman died, the child died and the man got lifetime for murder, plus it created hell for the woman's family (of three children and husband). This is how the devil works. These days unfortunately good and evil powers don't get discussed very much in the society, which makes us easily blind for it. When you notice destruction in your environment or in your mind, that's when you need to be careful, very careful! Also pay attention to what music you are listening to and what movies you are watching, some music and movies can have a negative short term or long term influence on you even though you might not believe it. The devil is everywhere he gets the chance to be. Often he gets a good enough chance by sending an impulse that you react on. So many bad things start that way...
Old 11th May 2006
  #2
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by RainbowStorm
I just heard a very terrible story, a friend of some friends of mine (much younger) recently fell desperately in love with the wrong girl, he had been in love with her for a long time. He had probably, on some level, soon realised his love was not answered, he didn't have the courage to face this reality by expressing his love for her while sober, which resulted in the fact that he always talked about her with his friends when he was high on alcohol. Recently he found out that this girl had started a relationship with another guy. He drank himself drunk on a party with my friends, then he e-mailed the girl that night and told her that he was glad for her sake about meeting this guy. In the morning he shot himself in the head, which has really been a very big trauma for my friends! So why do I share this story with you? I do it because if there is someone of all you almost 18 000 members here at Gearslutz going through the same thing right now, don't do the same decision, use your studio or your music as your gun.

When you get that desperately in love with someone and it's not answered you need to realise one thing, at that point you are dealing with the devil and that's really dangerous. It's a huge contrast and a very difficult thing to face, but without the knowledge you might pretty easily under the "right" circumstances become really confused, take the gun and shoot yourself and that's exactly what the devil tries to do. It's not the worst scenario, there are cases when the devil succeeds in taking the girl's life and her boyfriend's life as well...! But it's all just so extremely evil... There are other similar and related cases as well. I recently heard about a married couple where the woman had been having an affair with another man. She got pregnant and to remove the traces they would make an abortion in her apartment. That ended badly, the woman died, the child died and the man got lifetime for murder, plus it created hell for the woman's family (of three children and husband). This is how the devil works. These days unfortunately good and evil powers don't get discussed very much in the society, which makes us easily blind for it. When you notice destruction in your environment or in your mind, that's when you need to be careful, very careful! Also pay attention to what music you are listening to and what movies you are watching, some music and movies can have a negative short term or long term influence on you even though you might not believe it. The devil is everywhere he gets the chance to be. Often he gets a good enough chance by sending an impulse that you react on. So many bad things start that way...

Well said, and I agree. You may get some people that think you're a little cooky for thinking the way you do, but I for one completely agree with you.
Old 11th May 2006 | Show parent
  #3
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
well-put rainbow
Old 11th May 2006 | Show parent
  #4
Lives for gear
 
ArcCirDude's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Tragic story. Good post. Philosopher Albert Camus called what this young man was thinking "Absurd Reasoning". The thought that that life is so worthless that death is the only alternative. Check out "The Myth of Sisyphus". Good read. Sisyphus was the Grecian king of Corinth condemned forever to roll a huge stone up a hill in Hades only to have it roll down again on nearing the top.

Last edited by ArcCirDude; 12th May 2006 at 12:21 AM..
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #5
Gear Maniac
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArcCirDude
Tragic story. good post. Philosopher Albert Camus called what this young man was thinking "Absurd Reasoning". The thought that that life is so worthless that death is the only alternative. Check out "The Myth of Sisyphus". Good read. Sisyphus was the Grecian king of Corinth condemned forever to roll a huge stone up a hill in Hades only to have it roll down again on nearing the top.
Seems to me you wouldn't want somebody in the grips of a depressive jag to read the myth of Sisyphus. I know Camus tries to reason AWAY from absurd reasoning, but I might have a hard time following him while in the grips of said reasoning.

Anyway, awful story, Rainbow... sorry for your loss.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #6
Lives for gear
 
max cooper's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArcCirDude
The thought that that life is so worthless that death is the only alternative.
A very close friend took his own life. We intervened a couple of times, but couldn't always be right there.

When I'd say things like you mention above, he'd say that it wasn't about anything logic could help him with. He said it was like having a cast on your leg and you have an itch, but the itch is in the middle of your brain.

I guess it's different for everyone. Always tragic, though.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #7
Lives for gear
 
ArcCirDude's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Yes, that's the flaw of the book. It won't deter someone who is at that point already. However, when I gave up my fairly lucrative career as a session musician and engineer in the states and moved to Norway and learned the language in order to be with my wife of seven years only to have her dump me for her psych professor and was living in her parents basement near the 50 liters of moonshine and was trying my own attempt at "Leaving Las Norway" I woke up one day, thought about Camus, realized I needed help and ran to the doctors office for some help. And got it. Worked for me. Only time in my happy, well adjusted life that I wanted to die. Really wanted to. Now, I'm so glad that she left me that I send her flowers on the anniversary of the day she did!

Being suicidal is a strange sickness. It's almost like you're happy that you're sad. Paradoxical as it may seem.

Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #8
Lives for gear
 
max cooper's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArcCirDude
only to have her dump me for her psych professor and was living in her parents basement near the 50 liters of moonshine and was trying my own attempt at "Leaving Las Norway"
Dude, ouch! That crap hurts, I know. You shoulda called me.

Anyway, not to take the thread off topic, but as we all (mostly) learn, it's so much about learning to love yourself (yeah, ha ha) and value yourself and not need another person to validate your existence.

I'm still learning all that.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #9
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
there is this great line from the cronenberg film "scanners":

"my art keeps me sane".

i think this can be very true.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #10
Lives for gear
 
ArcCirDude's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by max cooper
Dude, ouch! That crap hurts, I know. You shoulda called me.

Anyway, not to take the thread off topic, but as we all (mostly) learn, it's so much about learning to love yourself (yeah, ha ha) and value yourself and not need another person to validate your existence.

I'm still learning all that.

Absolutely correct. I finally made a freaky recovery three months later after three cute girls from the college I was teaching at invited me up to a mountain cabin in Telemark. (That's where skiing was invented a thousand years ago.) I went out for a midnight ski, full moon, on a frozen lake. It was so completely Bell Labs quiet with all the new fallen snow and lack of a breeze that I could literally hear the blood swooshing through my head. I looked up at the stars and suddenly, instead of being afraid to start over and wondering why it had to happen, I realized that I was free to do whatEVER I wanted to do with my life. A total 180 degree change of thought process. An epiphany if you will. And then a jet plane flying at 38,000 feet broke my reverie. But I could feel my heart beating again instead of having a bowling ball lodged in my rib cage.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #11
Lives for gear
 
max cooper's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArcCirDude
It was so completely Bell Labs quiet
Gearslutz.com is getting pretty far out, man!

No, really, that was cool. Nice story. I like stuff like that. Don't you wish you could bottle moments like that?
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #12
tsd
Gear Maniac
 
tsd's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by ArcCirDude
Absolutely correct. I finally made a freaky recovery three months later after three cute girls from the college I was teaching at invited me up to a mountain cabin in Telemark.
for a minute there i thought you were going to have a hole different "recovery"!!!!!

there is nothing better than those empowering moments like the one you described... where you realise that you really can do anything you want with the rest of your life.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #13
Lives for gear
 
ArcCirDude's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by tsd
for a minute there i thought you were going to have a hole different "recovery"!!!!!

there is nothing better than those empowering moments like the one you described... where you realise that you really can do anything you want with the rest of your life.
I always set people up on that story! Haha! The girls were great and knitted patiently while I blabbed about my sorrows. THAT really helped, as well. But no lady is turned on by someone whining about lost love. However, I am now married and have two beautiful children with a wonderful lady that was also teaching there. That turnaround on the mountaintop opened up my mind to her. Her jumping my bones helped, as well....
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #14
Lives for gear
 
ArcCirDude's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
And if anyone feels that I'm a little too forthcoming in the details of my private life, sorry, but you are my only outlet for the English language besides Mom, so bear with me.

And back on topic, Rainbow is absolutely right. Channel all your negative emotions into the music. Some of the greatest works of art have come from pain. Van Gogh, Schumann, Nietzsche, Munch, Parker, Evans, Joplin, Cobain...

Last edited by ArcCirDude; 12th May 2006 at 01:55 AM..
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #15
Moderator
 
Reptil's Avatar
 
2 Reviews written
🎧 15 years
sorry about your loss.
what you call devil is what all humans have to face sooner or later.
a darkness in their hearts.
be strong and positive

Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #16
Guest
Guest
GS should have a post of the year contest.



D
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #17
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
A suicide is a fairly shocking thing - makes you realise that we don't always know what is going on in other people's lives.

I wouldn't blame the devil for everything bad though. Or God for that matter. A lot of people blame either for their troubles, but when you look at it, most of the evil in this world is created by people hurting other people, or hurting themselves.

I was lucky to have a conservative christian upbringing - sunday school and all that. I sometimes wonder how people can cope with the stresses of life without some spiritual guidance. Obviously with the increase in violence and suicides we see, people aren't coping at all, really.

Basic things that humans need to know - that lust, greed and jealousy can kill you, or cause you to harm/kill other people. It's all basic stuff covered in the Makers operating manual.

In my view - we have three main enemies. In the "christian speak" I was brought up on these would be called the Flesh, The World and The Devil. In more modern terms, I would call these "The force of habit/conditioning", "Peer Pressure" and then actual spirtual forces which only a few people acknowledge as real, but we see the effects every day.

Bad stuff can happen to us, simply because we train ourselves in negative behaviour. If you do something everyday for about a month, it becomes habit, and it gets very hard to break out of. But you need to know that you always have a choice.

Peer pressure is a crazy thing that really causes a lot of trouble. Just the other day, our local news story was about a bunch of 14 years old girls in our town who beat up a bus driver and nearly killed him. They were acting as a pack, saying "kill him, kill" as they kicked him and damaged his spine. Individually - I don't know if these girls would be that sick. But collectively, the lowest common denominator brings the whole group down to a sick level. Human weakness makes it hard to resist being different to everyone else. Screw it - be proud to be different!

Then there is spiritual evil - sometimes mistaken for insanity. Actually the biblical word 'sorcerers' comes from the greek word 'pharmakos'. The modern age of drug dealers (both legal and illegal) is a powerful form of 'sorcery' that is responsible for much of the evil in this world.

Not that all evil is just a chemical reaction. I believe in a very real spiritual world, and very real spiritual beings (both good and evil) that meddles with our affairs day by day. Our brain is an interface between spirit and body, and sometimes the use of pharmaceuaticals can open us up to the dark side.

Anyway - sorry to hear about your loss. These things are very real, and thanks for having the guts to talk about them publicly.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #18
Lives for gear
 
nathanvacha's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Is this something fairly normal for people in the industry? Like taking breakups really badly and dealing with symptoms of depression? I know it is a lot in musicians...

I hear that about flat feet... It's completely off topic, but how many of you are flat-footed?
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #19
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
I would guess studio engineers as a group would be statisticaly skewed toward obsessive compulsive ... and probably more nerd than jock.
Old 12th May 2006
  #20
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by RainbowStorm
These days unfortunately good and evil powers don't get discussed very much in the society, which makes us easily blind for it. When you notice destruction in your environment or in your mind, that's when you need to be careful, very careful! Also pay attention to what music you are listening to and what movies you are watching, some music and movies can have a negative short term or long term influence on you even though you might not believe it.
Truth.

But talking about it & getting it out into the open is always a healthy thing even if it's not easy to do.

That's one helluva sad story you posted there. I'm sure all of us have been through some sort of similar situation at one point in our lives. My ex-fiancΓ© still keeps blaming herself & her ex (previous to me) for her younger brothers suicide a few years ago. Her brother was DEEPLY involved in all kinds of bad bad things & I'm not even talking about the drugs. Even his own parents had kicked him out of the house for stealing money & other items. Apparently her brother wanted to come live with them & her ex-husband said "no way." A few months later he put a gun in his mouth...

I guess that once some people give up all hope of survival they'll do anything they can, either consciously or subconsciously to speed up their own fiery spiraling decent into that deep dark abyss.

Maybe we all need to be more aware of our own divinity.

Speaking of movies & all that...the two BEST anti-drug movies I've seen are "Requiem for a Dream" & "Spun."

There are two kinds of people who make movies about drugs...those that are on them...they make stuff like "Trainspotting" (which is great IMO) which shows the whole "happy skipping through the flowers in bliss" side of it.

The other side is the people that have been THROUGH drugs. They make movies like "Requiem" & "Spun" which depict the reality that hardcore drug use brings to people who get that deeply involved in bad juju.

Well, there's also guys like Dave Chapplle & that whole "Half-Baked" thing & all those 'weed' movies...now that's some funny ****! You never really hear about stoner hippies getting mad & killing themselves or others...

heh

Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #21
Gear Nut
 
🎧 15 years
Tragic and shocking story! I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend and the trauma the family had to go through.

However, what you describe as the "devil" is the inability to take responsibility for one's own life & actions, which is tragic.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #22
rll
Gear Maniac
 
🎧 15 years
I think the fact that everyone goes through true hell at some point in their lives, unifies us, and when it comes to music, those moments of pure joy that we have, either playing or just listening help to transcend the most painful moments of life.

And speaking of those moments of bliss, here's a post I read from a fellow skateboarder-- but it applies to anything:

Alright, so we all spend our whole lives getting here, to this very second, this one moment. Nothing pins you to the moment like when those wheels are hissing down the road and you're crouched on that plank praying "please don't you wobble on me, please God this is it right now I mean wow i'm alive" and that's what it's all about, it's the soul perched within the bag of bones on top of it that shines in this moment.
Old 12th May 2006 | Show parent
  #23
Gear Nut
 
dorisinger's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
this post is very difficult for me

Rainbow, I'm very sorry for your loss. Tragic. I know it sounds trite, but there are some things in life that are beyond understanding. Whether it's a good or evil thing or randomness or weakness or just plain mental illness/impaired thinking is something we may never know.

Two and one half years ago, I lost my son, Josh, to suicide. Today would have been his 18th birthday, it's wierd and troubling that this thread came along today.

I've never been musical, I've never written a song or even known how to play a complete song from start to finish (I have piddled with guitar and piano over the years, but never very seriously). But for some reason since my son's death I have found a purpose or a reason for being through writing and recording songs. It has given me something to do, a "constructive" way to pass the time. An outlet for my feelings and emotions. A way to say things that otherwise are difficult for me to say. A lifeline when everything thing else seemed bleak and void of purpose.

So you guys who hold the keys to recording knowledge and equipment, you are very important to us guys without that knowledge or gear (yet) who have a primal urge to bring our works into the world, but don't know how. Remember that the next time some pitiful traveler such as myself approaches you with a project. It may never bring you fame or glory or riches, but your involvement can be more valuable than you may ever know. Sometimes I think I owe my very existence to the guys who have helped me on this journey, without this outlet I'm afraid to think what might have been.

Here's an example of one of my songs, it's about my own struggles. It's a working mix, any mix suggestions would be appreciated (there are a few obvious issues, like the bouzouki and dobro clashing in the bridge). Feel free to be critical, I've got pretty thick skin. But I'm not really posting for comments, this is intended for an audience of one, me - and I know I'm not a musician or a singer. I just felt the need to get these recorded, though I don't really know why.

Rainbow, I guess the reason I posted is to tell you first hand that you are right that music and the studio can be an alternative to more desperate measures for people who are struggling with issues such as this - it can literally be life saving.

Peace be with you all,

David
Attached Files

Walk By The River.mp3.mp3 (4.71 MB, 87 views)


Last edited by dorisinger; 12th May 2006 at 06:39 AM..
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