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Goofiest thing a cleint has done while NOT recording.
Old 19th March 2003
  #1
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Goofiest thing a client has done while NOT recording.

Some of the best stuff always happens in those 20 minute breaks when tape isn't rolling and it has nothing to do with the actual record. What's the best thing you've seen someone do or say? Since our feerless moderator is a ham he's gotta have a good story or three. I'll share mine after I see a couple.
Old 19th March 2003
  #2
Lives for gear
 
Tim L's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by slipperman
How's that for a situation report?
... I wanna "party" with you dude!

Last week I had a bunch of guy's that were into the 'smoke thing'... we all stepped outside for a breather (though I did not partake). The singer decided he wanted a "shotgun" off this rather fat, loosely rolled 'SCUD' the bass player had twisted up. The guitar player sets up to administer said "shotgun" and lets the singer have it! The SCUD was about half way burnt when they started. Almost imediately after they began, the entire contents of the SCUD let loose and blew down the singers throat (war)head and all... he didn't wanna sing any more that night. We all hit the floor laughing our ass's off (minus the singer) and I felt like I was back in Highschool again.
Old 19th March 2003
  #3
Lives for gear
 
Nutmeg II.'s Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
I love to listen to vocal outtakes backwards.
Intresting things happen that way. There are deffinetly hidden massages!:eek:
Old 19th March 2003
  #4
Lives for gear
 
andre tchmil's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Maybe a bit off topic, but still a good one .......

Back in the days before the DAW, I once erased by accident a whole chorus of drums on a song without telling the band.
I worked the whole night thru to replace the part with sampled bits of drums from another part in that song with my S1000.
Afterwards, the drummer was very proud on how tight he played on that section.heh

Years later, I told him.hahahaha
Old 19th March 2003
  #5
Gear Head
 
🎧 15 years
Ya, i have a hobby of mine, i collect the small outbreaks vocalist do when they missed a part for the fifth time, mostly the dirty ones i fun to have from girlvocalist who stops thinking of their behaviour.
Got a couple famous swedish singers on tape

Gonna use for blackmail some day, heh

/M
Old 19th March 2003
  #6
Lives for gear
 
e-cue's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
A word of advice to all: Keep fire extinguishers in the glass cases that you have to break to get into.
Old 19th March 2003
  #7
Gear Head
 
Mixervixen's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
I love to listen to vocal outtakes backwards.
Me too. They are pretty funny. After struggling with a vocal take, I always suggest we take a little break and listen back, see if we can figure out what the problem is. Keep a poker face and play it back in reverse.

Hmmmmm, I think we can see we have a problem here ......




And since I record at home, there is the obligatory recording dog in the corner. Except when this one vocalist does his thing, the dog inevitably begins to howl. Dog howl overdubs run backwards are really the bomb.
Old 19th March 2003
  #8
Lives for gear
 
Nutmeg II.'s Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by Mixervixen
Dog howl overdubs run backwards are really the bomb.
Old 19th March 2003
  #9
Jax
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
Taking a break, we go outside to the parking lot, where the singer/guitar player of the band starts up with a rather hilarious impersonation of a gay ballerina practicing his moves... btw, what do they call a male ballerina... ballerino?? "One... two... (leap)... and THREE OK CATCH ME!!!" He called to the unprepared other guitar player of the band, who ended up rather ungracefully tossing the singer over his head and to the hard pavement.

"...... Owwwwwwww ...."

With his wrist broken from this incident, the session was officially over as the guitar parts he played were pretty unique to him. They also could not play shows for the next 4 months, but the band managed to stay afloat. It was good for a full five minutes of uninterrupted belly laughing until we figured out that the singer was serious when his wrist began swelling...
Old 19th March 2003
  #10
Founder
 
Jules's Avatar
Back when I was a 30 a day cigarette junkie, I ran out of matches.

Swedish band ' "we could "run it" for you

Me & producer (also keen for a ciggie) "really?, what's that?.

Swedish band - "we will show you, we do it all the time in winter back home"

Swedish bands singer takes a ciggie from me and tries to run really fast and drag it across the studio reception area carpeted floor floor, seemingly so that the friction makes it catch fire,

Swedish singer says, Hmmmm, "there isn't enough room here, I need more space to get a good run going"

So me and the producer all go outside to the car park, the Swedish singer prepares himself for his run, we prepare ourselves for a nice smoke when he is done.

Swedish singer, crouches, then takes off dragging my cigarette, which is disintegrating rapidly across the concrete, through a puddle and then disappears out of sight around the corner.

Me and the producer stand there in front of the rest of the band, blinking for a few seconds taking in what just happened, then realize that we are the two biggest idiots on the planet.

Cue hysterical laughter, crawling on hands and knees, pounding the floor with fists, tears etc for 4 hours..

BTW The singer wandered back to the studio 15 mins later with a lit cigarette in his mouth...

Old 19th March 2003
  #11
Lives for gear
 
Albert's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
btw, what do they call a male ballerina... ballerino?? "One... two... (leap)... and THREE OK CATCH ME!!!
That would be "danseur".

Also, that should have been "five...six...seven...eight...", not "one...two...three".

:-)
Old 20th March 2003
  #12
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Slipperman wins by a mile. Recording tales of woe are NOT allowed. It's gotta be from a break and not related to the music.

We've all erased that one of a kind guitar solo and whatever. I've got a good couple-a two three to share but I'm just about to run out the door and drop the last few days mixes off at the bar where the band is and I'm sure I'll have another story from that.
Old 20th March 2003
  #13
Lives for gear
 
Berolzheimer's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Not a story as much as just favotite image, really,

Second day of a 4-day recording session at a ranch in Northern Ca, 1 o'clock in the afternoon,
the lead guitarist comes rolling up the dirt road from one of the cabins on a mountain bike in his plaid jammies & sandals bellowing, "what's for breakfast?"
Old 20th March 2003
  #14
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Yeaaaahhhh.... so I'm back in and I've got another story

One of my favorite momento's was the time a band's (drum?) tech popped my assistent in the head with a rubber mallet. The assistant wanted to know what the hammer in his tool box was for, Mr. Tech replied "To finesse things into place" and popped him on the forehead. Poor dude had a nice quarter sized mark on his head for a few days. At least he stuck around for a bit after that.

Then there was the time I sorta kinda electrocuted a pair of guitar players shortly after I opened my own place. There was some kind of really nasty storm brewing and I was about to do a punch-in on the guitars when there was a huge bang, a snap and I saw a set of blue teeth (no fukkin' joke) fly past the window of the live room while I was looking at both players. Both of the the guitar players yelled while the lights dimmed and slowly came back up. The whole thing took probably a second and a half but it seemed like a few hours at the time.

After that, I damn well made sure that the insurance got paid when it was due.
Old 20th March 2003
  #15
Gear Head
 
🎧 15 years
I remember this story, many years ago me and my band at the time was about to record at a local studio and we got there a bit early and the guy who managed it had not got there yet so we waited outside, then the drummer and me decides to armwrestle, it was a pretty hard struggle and lasted quite some time, then I decided to do a final atempt to get him down and put in my last strength, slammed his hand down the table causing his wrist some serious damage and hurted my own elbow.

When the guy showed up who owned the studio we just had to cancel the gig, get a new time and i can tell you he wasnt happy.
Shortest studiosession i ever been too, not even got the instrument out of the car.

/M
Old 20th March 2003
  #16
Lives for gear
 
malice's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
I had an unbelievable experience with a singer. It was not really "off" recording, but nearly, realise :

I found the guy a little sad this day, he didn't mentioned anything, but he was definitly in a bad day.

Tape is rolling, after half a verse, the guy stop, I stop the tape and push the TB:

me: "Dude, got a problem ?"

him: "Why did she left me ?"

me: "Hu, what ?"

him: "my, wife, she left me"

me: "ho, sorry to hear that, you wanna have a break, do that some other time ?"

him: "no, no, by all means, no ... roll the tape

I roll the tape, after the first verse, he stops.

him: "what a slut ..."

me: " yeah, sure, we should end this right now, dude ..."

him: "no way, I will pull over myself, we are not on schedule, this is unprofessional, go on ..."


Well, after 1 hour, we got like a verse and half a chorus, no ****. No producer as the guy was self producing, nothing, no mooks, nothing. It was not even my session, I was replacing a guy at the studio.

I swear to god it is true.

I went to the studio manager after two hours and said, if you don't find a guy to replace me in less than an hour :

- I quit this studio for the rest of my life
- I kill this guy
- I kill you after

The guy I was replacing showed up, he was laughing to death ...

malice
Old 20th March 2003
  #17
Lives for gear
 
XHipHop's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Right after christmas i had a week long session and i was hanging out with the band afterhours and we started drinking some bacardi and cuervo. One of the guys fell asleep on the couch in the control room, while the rest of use were hanging out in the living room drinking and watching some dvds. After the two bottles were emptied (and i'm talking about the 1.5 liter handles here) we decided that we should dump those giant 10 pound buckets of christmas popcorn on the guy in the control room. We crept up quietly and suddenly his eyes opened and he lunged at my throat. Then a giant popcorn fight (we had 3 10 pound buckets...do the math) ensued. i don't remember the rest of the details but the cleanup was horrible in the morning and i still find bits of popcorn here and there all the time.

I'm glad i posted this because it reminds me that those guys still owe me money...
Old 22nd March 2003
  #18
Lives for gear
 
Curve Dominant's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
I did something kinda goofy while we weren't recording...does that count?? Yeah? OK...

One night, we were done tracking etc, hanging out listening to mixes, shootin' the breeze.

I went to the fridge for a beer. I drink Yuengling Premium 16oz cans, pour the stuff into a glass and you can't tell it's from a can. Tastes really good actually, and the aluminum can is easily crumpled and disposed of.

So anyhoo...I'm walking out to the "control room" area with this unopened 16oz aluminum can of beer in my hand. Well, I wasn't too careful with the way I was handling this beer can apparently, because the side of the can swiped the sharp corner of the main synth keyboard, puncturing a small hole in the side of the beer can, and a fine spray of beer proceeded to spray all over everything... The keyboard, the digital console, the outboard gear, CD burner, amp...everything, sprayed with a fine mist of beer.

Immediately realizing what happened, I hugged the beer can, and proceeded to get soaked with beer, and it's now dripping on the carpet, and now I'm running back to the kitchen area to throw this exploding beer can into the sink.

A little bit later, as I'm dutifully swabbing droplets of beer from the surfaces of almost ALL of my gear, somebody familiar with my love of beer chimed in with, "Hey Eric, I'm surprised you're not LICKING that beer off of your equipment!!"

HA HA HA...very funny...
Old 27th March 2003
  #19
Gear Head
 
🎧 15 years
...Mac computers will output speech that sounds like Stephen Hawkings, (or some other voices you can select) just by typing the words into Simpletext. When the singer came back to hear the finished mix, I told her I'd tried out someone else whom I really thought she could learn from. Of course I'd replaced a verse of her vocal with the computer voice. Took her a while to realise...

...I was setting up a mic for a veteran US sax player on a lunchtime radio programme. He smelt strongly of tobacco and alcohol and looked like he'd just got out of bed. "Man, they should make special hotels for musicians", he growled. "What would they be like?" I smiled. "They'd serve breakfast at seven o' clock...that's seven P.M."
Old 5th April 2003
  #20
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
I was reminded today of a drummer who was about to have a cigg on a meal break. Somehow he managed to flip his lighter around, drop it and light his crotch on fire. Thankfully someone threw a glass of water on it after a few seconds but that was damn funny.
Old 5th April 2003
  #21
Gear Maniac
 
🎧 15 years
While tracking drums, the drummer had one of his good friends sitting in the drum room. This guy was smoking a joint at the time, and about half way through the song...He stood up and slowley walked over to the drum set and put one foot up on the kick drum, and then climbed on top on the drum set and layed down. The cymbals and stands fell over, the rack tom mounts broke off and the set just kind of continued to come unglued. This guy was at least 250 lbs. The drummer had continued to play for a few seconds, but had a look of pure shock on his face. A few moments later he (drummer) dived off his seat to avoid the incoming tide of drum parts and human flesh.
This poor guy had lost his drum set, and just stood there watching as his friend slowley came back from where ever he had gone and realized he was lying in the middle of drum hell.
As he told us later, he thought he was at home listening to the stereo, and just went over to lay down on his bed.

This was over twenty years ago, and the picture in my head still brings tears to my eyes and makes my stomach hurt from laughing to hard.
Old 5th April 2003
  #22
Moderator emeritus
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by makoto

As he told us later, he thought he was at home listening to the stereo, and just went over to lay down on his bed.
No more calls, we have a winner!
Old 6th April 2003
  #23
Lives for gear
 
e-cue's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by slipperman
Bunch of great stories.... Although I'd love to hear more from e-cue, who I suspect has some truly hair-raising ones.

SM.
Let's see. Watching MUDVANYE light themselves on fire and run down the hall was kinda goofy, but that wasn't my session. Uhm, telling the commercial executive to speak INTO the remote is always fun, but music related, and hardly unique. Uhm, people having sex in the studio chamber reverb became common on a particular session. So, I got the assistant on the mic, sent her through a harmonizer, pitched her WAY down, and had her do "god" impressions, and sent it into the chamber. I ripped that off from that 80's movie with Val Kilmer, which name escapes me right now. We actually debated weither to impresnate "god" or "Barry White". Last Christmas a well known producer decided to turn the studio parking lot into a winterwonderland (in Los Angeles) and basically had the whole thing filled up with snow. I'm afraid the fire extigusher war thing is the best I can think of. It bascially started as a water ballon fight, and somewhere went horriblely wrong. That's about the best I can think of... Sorry to disappoint.
Old 6th April 2003
  #24
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by e-cue
Uhm, people having sex in the studio chamber reverb became common on a particular session. So, I got the assistant on the mic, sent her through a harmonizer, pitched her WAY down, and had her do "god" impressions, and sent it into the chamber. I ripped that off from that 80's movie with Val Kilmer, which name escapes me right now. We actually debated weither to impresnate "god" or "Barry White".
I was thinking of 'Pump up the Volume' but that's a Christian Slater flick.

I actually did a similar thing in high school. I took stage craft for a few years which was my first exposure to a PA. I used to pick the lock on the auditorium PA booth (if it was even locked) and **** with the delay and reverb while my friends said goofy things. Usually there were a few people building a set or replacing lightbulbs. "Andrew... this is God... stop picking your nose".

I want details on the fire extinguisher fight. I had someone sit one in the lounge once. That was a huge fukkin' mess.
Old 6th April 2003
  #25
Lives for gear
 
covert's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by e-cue
So, I got the assistant on the mic, sent her through a harmonizer, pitched her WAY down, and had her do "god" impressions, and sent it into the chamber.
Good friend of mine was doing sound for a bunch of hardcore/speedcore/deathmetal type bands. One of them gave him a hard time, so during their set he had a friend howling into a mic fed only to their monitors. "Satan is coming for you" etc.
Old 18th April 2003
  #26
Here for the gear
 
NCNDude's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Real Genius

The movie your thinking of:

http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionC...98/genius.html
Old 18th December 2005 | Show parent
  #27
Founder
 
Jules's Avatar
Let this live on!
Old 18th December 2005 | Show parent
  #28
Lives for gear
 
GP_Hawk's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
What happened to slipperman's post....I didn't get a chance to see that one. Must have been bad if he had to remove it....I guess he wins hands down just for that.

One off the top of my head...female singer taking a break needs to use the ladies room. A freind of mine with a connection with a guy at Bazzar Novelty products, runs outta the room when he hears the girl needs to use the facilities. 2 mins later he comes back in. about 10 mins later the female singer comes back in really really mad...I mean really mad. It took a while to calm her down(session was a wash after that).

Jimmie in his evil kinda ways had put this small water filled bladder with a rigid hose under the front of the toilet seat. When the girl sat down, it sprayed her box!! She didn't like that much, but afterwards we were all killing ourselves laughing. Of course the end result was NOT funny....she didn't come back.

He used to get people that bummed smokes off him with the exploding cigerette thingies....the ones that look like toothpics.
Old 18th December 2005 | Show parent
  #29
Lives for gear
 
djui5's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally Posted by GPl
What happened to slipperman's post....

Slips always deletes his posts not long after posting them. You gotta follow him around like a lost dog to read his stuff


Anyone happen to copy it?
Old 27th September 2006 | Show parent
  #30
Lives for gear
 
celticrogues's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
This is pretty funny - any new ones?
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