Why oh why do you do this to the family?

We begged you to get a real job at the mill like your brother.

Now your hanging around at kinky webforums with a bunch of...oh I just can't take it...

Slipperman! This is your father, get your sorry butt home now!

You've upset your mother and when she's upset I don't get any dinner!

You've goofed off long enough. Now get a hair cut, get some decent clothes, and start looking for a job!