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Personal lives?
Old 19th June 2002
  #1
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
Personal lives?

The bands I work with generally all have day jobs so my recording times are more like from 4pm till 1 or 2am during the week and all weekend. So it doesnt leave much time for a personal life with friends and family that have regular jobs.

Im sure this is a pretty common problem with most of you guys..... how do you manage to get by without loosing contact with the people you're close to? I have a 3 year old relationship with an awesome girl I live with that needs some attention, but between her job and my recording theirs no time. Sucks.
Old 19th June 2002
  #2
Gear Maniac
 
vsl666's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
solution a



solution A / marry a singer ....
Old 19th June 2002
  #3
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
Stuff didnt really work out between Brittany Spears and I... we tried but it just didnt work.
Old 19th June 2002
  #4
Moderator emeritus
 
🎧 15 years
Re: solution a

Quote:
Originally posted by vsl666


solution A / marry a singer ....
Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. I've been married to a singer for 20 years - for us it worked.
Old 20th June 2002
  #5
Founder
 
Jules's Avatar
I dont interface much with the 9-5 world. Dont get me wrong I beilve them to be salt of the earth.. But from a personal life perspective, I havent had a 9-5 girlfriend for ... er ... a decade or so..!!!

It may happen!

I've been out with 2 singers. Each time my 'numbers game' attitude that involved musical carears of many acts clashed badly with my girlfriends, 'mine is the most important musical carear' . The duality of the situation was allways a BIG problem for me..

grudge grudge

I have a weird social life that revolves around a noon-8pm (or11pm) job & evening concerts talent souting. I grab time off mid week, whenever..
Old 20th June 2002
  #6
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
I've found that my friends have changed a lot in the last two years or so that I've been doing the full time studio thing. Before that it was a mix of 9-5 friends and vampires. Now my friends are all vampires. Waking up around 10am and staying up until 3am is pretty common. One day I'll find a girl who keeps those kinds of hours. I hope
Old 20th June 2002
  #7
Moderator emeritus
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by Jay Kahrs
Waking up around 10am and staying up until 3am is pretty common. One day I'll find a girl who keeps those kinds of hours. I hope
Now that they've cleaned up Times Square, where will you look?
Old 20th June 2002
  #8
VIP
 
mwagener's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by planet red
Stuff didnt really work out between Brittany Spears and I... we tried but it just didnt work.
He said marry a singer
Old 20th June 2002
  #9
There is only one
 
alphajerk's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
im on this really bent noon to between 5-8am schedule. nightime is the only time i can get piece of mind to work. the days are just too ****ing hectic to think let alone work aside from tracking, but thats noisy to begin with.

my wife isnt that happy with it, but i have been this way since we met... what can ya do though? get up early? grggt grggt grggt fortunately though im always around during the daytime.
Old 20th June 2002
  #10
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
Personal life? This IS my personal life. I don't know how to live my life any other way but personally (I've tried to pay others to live it for me, but it's never worked out). Friends? They are overrated as hell, and are almost certainly a waste of time. Dudes, I married a REAL musician, not just a singer. My God, I'm lucky! When I'm mixing, she's the one cracking the whip on my ass when I want to go to bed. She's beautiful, and yet she understands that a good mic pre costs > $2000, and that we may need several, and she even knows how to work the board (Sony DMX)! A gear slut's dream.

Brittany? Yeah, I coulda had her, but man! High maintainence!

R
Old 20th June 2002
  #11
Gear Maniac
 
vsl666's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
thats made me feel better

she understands a mic pre cost $2000 and u may need several !

grudge madd madd

got a pic ?

god that hurt
Old 20th June 2002
  #12
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by Dave Martin


Now that they've cleaned up Times Square, where will you look?
I'll hop over a few blocks to 30th street. I dated a singer once, or I should say tried. I didn't like sound of her voice and well... it just didn't work.
Old 20th June 2002
  #13
Kev
Gear Nut
 
Kev's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Time OFF ???

Personal Life ???

It's all about the gear and then the music ! Or is it the other way around ??

Randy Copus, I envy you ... you're a lucky guy. I think I have been single longer than Jules, there just isn't time.
Old 20th June 2002
  #14
Lives for gear
 
Knox's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Actually friend, you have to run your business not let your business run you. I'm 46. I have done the 2 to 3 days straight in the studio. I don't do that crap anymore. I have nothing to prove and I have learned that at a certain point nothing is getting done ESPECIALLY if the band is drinking or doing dope or just burned out. I'm clean 11 years so I don't waste my time on that in the studio. If someone is REALLY toasted and doing nothing but screwing up, I will stop the session. Now that can be a tough call because many work perfectly fine getting high. I don't judge . . I just try to get the work done.

This work has to be enjoyable for me, for the most part and I have to have a life outside of music. It's not the only thing in the world. Have hobbies outside this business. Personally, I am into motorcycles. Plus I have a Giant Schnauzer dog. He is with me in the studio, actually he goes everywhere with me . . so I take him for runs etc.

I know many that are so obsessed with this business that it is all they have in their lives. It happened to me too when i was younger.

I also don't eat out of a bag sitting at the console. I take dinner breaks. If the band doesn't like it . . screw them.

I think the point I am offering to you is . . . you have to find balance in this business and you have to take care of yourself. I TRY to start at 11 am and end up around 9 to 10 pm with breaks. Of course this doesn't work out many times and if you are just starting out, you have to take the sessions you can, so you have little say. Try to find balance and work toward it.

The artists are excited to be in the studio and they don't think about the fact that you are there every day and don't need to work straight for 2 days. Learn to set boundaries. I have seen many burn out in this business that didn't. I lost a nice wife early on because I didn't set boundaries for studio / home life. Dont be as dumb as I was. Work your ass off, hustle and set boundaries if you can.

Maybe this helps . . hope it does.
Old 20th June 2002
  #15
Lives for gear
 
Renie's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Keep it rich'n'rare, that's my motto!!
Old 20th June 2002
  #16
Lives for gear
 
C.Lambrechts's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by Knox
Actually friend, you have to run your business not let your business run you. I'm 46. I have done the 2 to 3 days straight in the studio. I don't do that crap anymore. I have nothing to prove and I have learned that at a certain point nothing is getting done ESPECIALLY if the band is drinking or doing dope or just burned out. I'm clean 11 years so I don't waste my time on that in the studio. If someone is REALLY toasted and doing nothing but screwing up, I will stop the session. Now that can be a tough call because many work perfectly fine getting high. I don't judge . . I just try to get the work done.

This work has to be enjoyable for me, for the most part and I have to have a life outside of music. It's not the only thing in the world. Have hobbies outside this business. Personally, I am into motorcycles. Plus I have a Giant Schnauzer dog. He is with me in the studio, actually he goes everywhere with me . . so I take him for runs etc.

I know many that are so obsessed with this business that it is all they have in their lives. It happened to me too when i was younger.

I also don't eat out of a bag sitting at the console. I take dinner breaks. If the band doesn't like it . . screw them.

I think the point I am offering to you is . . . you have to find balance in this business and you have to take care of yourself. I TRY to start at 11 am and end up around 9 to 10 pm with breaks. Of course this doesn't work out many times and if you are just starting out, you have to take the sessions you can, so you have little say. Try to find balance and work toward it.

The artists are excited to be in the studio and they don't think about the fact that you are there every day and don't need to work straight for 2 days. Learn to set boundaries. I have seen many burn out in this business that didn't. I lost a nice wife early on because I didn't set boundaries for studio / home life. Dont be as dumb as I was. Work your ass off, hustle and set boundaries if you can.

Maybe this helps . . hope it does.

nothing to add realy .... great post .... great advice .... thank you
Old 21st June 2002
  #17
Lives for gear
 
5down1up's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
same from here to knox


its just music , nothin special heh
Old 21st June 2002
  #18
jon
Capitol Studios Paris
 
jon's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Great post, Knox.

I too lost a wife due to too many late nights spent in the studio and too many tours away from home.

Yet I'm as bad as ever. There are days when I get home at 8/9 am from mixing. I envy the Chris Lord-Alge 9am-6pm mix day (though 9 am is pretty damn early in my world...it's more often bedtime than breakfast time).

Here in France, at least for the high-level clients, there tends to be a sane amount of savoir-vivre...the bigger-budget sessions generally last between 8 and 14 hours. Today an experienced French producer (F. Cabrel, J. Halliday, etc.) was in the studio booked for a lock-out day. He arrived at 2 pm and left at 8:30 pm after a very productive afternoon. Bowie was the same...he'd basically do early afternoon to mid-evening, get a lot done, then it was off to a club or out to dinner. A pretty good way to work imo.
Old 21st June 2002
  #19
There is only one
 
alphajerk's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
re: wives and them leaving

there are MANY fish in the sea but you only get ONE life to lead.

if it came down to a choice... sorry babe. i love you but its what you signed up for when you married me. kinda sucks in a way but it takes a special person to deal with it. fortunately mine is pretty special up to this point.

most think a "home" studio is a bad thing but i see it the other way around. my wife digs music and the lifestyle, my son loves hanging out with me when i record [although he thinks he can already run the board... and actually knows play/stop/rewind on the keyboard already, he's 2] so thats been a big family saver so far. her biggest complaint is me mixing all night long.

and **** that 9-6 cLA dealio. no wonder his mixes are boring as ****. he has been assimilated into the corporate structure. if i wanted to work those hours, id do something that made a ****load more money.
Old 21st June 2002
  #20
Lives for gear
 
5down1up's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
a day over here has 24 hours .

"if it came down to a choice... sorry babe" tut

what an attitude ( just kiddin )

i knowed some guys doin rockΒ΄n roll for a long time ...
damn those guys look ugly , some of em are already †
i guess theres no girls who wants to hang around with em fuuck

i am doin night shifts all the time ( basically i cant stand millions of people and the whole stress which happens at daytime ) ...
but thats fu**** up <-- and i know that

i would never trade a good friend for superlocrian b13

music the most exciting thing in the world for me ,
but its not my religion .

i know there are some guys who r making a big deal out of a potatoe .heh
Old 24th June 2002
  #21
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
So the girl is now gone.... not because of recording, but i just didnt have the time to try to work stuff out. So im super busy and today manage to get myself real sick with a 103 degree fever. Now im home alone and dont know if i'll be able to record tommorrow. I think this is a warning sign that when I get busy..... try to watch myself. It just sucks when you arent.... so when you are I get stoked and dooo too much. Anyways, its probably my prescriptions talking now......
Old 1st July 2002
  #22
Lives for gear
 
Volodia's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
I married my assistant in the studio . She doesn't work anymore but she understands my job . I start work a little later than I used too so that I can see my 2 years old daughter every morning for about 3/4 hours .( I see her more than most of the 9-5'ers) . I can have a day off in the middle of the week which is more convenient than the week end . I don't run with the crowd.
I love my job .
Old 1st July 2002
  #23
Lives for gear
 
Midlandmorgan's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Knox...AMEN!

Well stated, Knox... taking care of one's own self is just as important (if not more so) than taking care of someone else...its a very tough lesson to learn, but failing to make adjustments to the 'personal' side of it all can cause some serious side effects.

I guess its all about the perspective of what's really important in the world.

Ken M
Old 2nd July 2002
  #24
One with big hooves
 
Jay Kahrs's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by Volodia
I can have a day off in the middle of the week which is more convenient than the week end . I don't run with the crowd.
I love my job .
Same here. Taking a day off in the middle of the week is great. I don't have to fight with people at the stores or post office.
Old 2nd July 2002
  #25
Lives for gear
 
e-cue's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
Quote:
Originally posted by Volodia
I can have a day off in the middle of the week which is more convenient than the week end.
"Day Off"? What is this thing you speak of?
Old 2nd July 2002
  #26
Han
Lives for gear
 
🎧 15 years
A while ago there was a similar thread going on another forum.
The guy asked the same question and got the same great answers (great post Knox!)

I got a number of emails from this very nice and friendly guy who had the same problems with combining his work with his family.

Two weeks ago I emailed him and I found out his wife and very young son has left him and he's picking up the pieces.

So I guess all of you young studio guys, you have to find out what's really important.

Peace, Han
Old 2nd July 2002
  #27
There is only one
 
alphajerk's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
and that is?
Old 2nd July 2002
  #28
Founder
 
Jules's Avatar
Probably keeping a good balance,

you know, one that can do ounces as well as grams...

grggt
Old 3rd July 2002
  #29
jon
Capitol Studios Paris
 
jon's Avatar
 
🎧 15 years
...and that is, finding a way to make some great music.

Or be married.

I find it is pretty unusual for both to co-exist over the long haul, since the music/studio thang and the (serious) woman thang generally both demand top priority status in order to thrive.
Old 4th July 2002
  #30
Gear Head
 
🎧 15 years
Man, I'm about THIS CLOSE to calling an escort... if only I could get my head around the fact that I'm paying someone to LEAVE!!! grudge

grooop hug!!!!

-C
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